But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you inspire me to be a worse person
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
