Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My ass is underappreciated
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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