what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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