I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
