That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We're too hungover to prance.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
