also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
