I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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