For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
