You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
