So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
