how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
