Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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