at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
