scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize