He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
bring money and cleavage
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
