Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
