U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
love makes seman taste better
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
