We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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