Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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