Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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