My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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