One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
