Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
