thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
