When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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