I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
