Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
