so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
