I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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