like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
