you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
