Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
