glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
