I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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