So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
