im having a threesome with these popsicles
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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