There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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