I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
