There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
