Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
