Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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