Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is Oprah even human
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
