We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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