I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
