i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
