i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
