the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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