Don't make out with my wife yet
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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