Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
