Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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