his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
