the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
