I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
