we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
