oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
