I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
