my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
